Excerpt : It’s the fear of rejection that runs through every thread of our adoption tapestry. Deep down, everyone in our unique little triad has a fear of it. Through forces beyond our control, our lives are intricately interwoven, inextricably entwined. Smooth and seamless on the surface, knotted and messy behind.
For Mom and Dad it’s the fear that, once you’ve found your birth mother, you’ll be all like, ‘Adios, thanks for the past twenty-one years, but I’ve found a new mom, so I’m outta here!’
Which is stupid, obviously. Mom and Dad will always be your mom and dad.
For Beth, judging by what she wrote in that letter she left on file for you at Child Welfare, she was also scared of rejection. Of being rejected by you. As punishment, for abandoning you, and not being able to provide for you as a mother should. While she was right about your feelings of anger and bitterness and resentment, it was directed more at the system, the adoption laws, the bureaucracy, and the red tape, than at her personally.
And then, obviously, your own fears of rejection. Although you had hoped for the best when you visited Child Welfare, you had also prepared for the worst. The fear of finding out your birth mother didn’t want to meet you, the fear of being rejected by her a second time. Well, that probably would’ve broken you completely. Thank God she wrote that letter, so you knew exactly where you stood, and how long and hard she had been wanting, wishing, waiting for you to make contact. It made everything thereafter so much easier.
Question: Who is the author of Umbilicus?