SA Kids On The Go

Raising girls Vs boys SA Kids Newsletter Aug 2016

Raising girls Vs boys

 

The other day I was talking to a couple of ladies at my gym about our kids, when one of them who has 2 girls, said she was delighted that she does not have boys because they are so hard to raise. This turned out to be quite a funny discussion but in the end, we all came to the same conclusion that there really is not much difference between raising boys versus girls.

Let me start by telling you about my 3 kids. I have 2 older daughters and a teenage son. Somehow I managed to have almost 3 years between the girls and then my son came along 10 years later, but that is another topic altogether. What I am trying to tell you is that I know from experience that there really is no difference between raising boys and girls. My girls are so different from each other that the one could easily have been a boy, because she was so rough and tough, while the other was gentle and loved dressing up like a lady. They really are total opposites even to this day. As for my son, he is a gentle soul but don’t push the wrong buttons or you will know all about it!

What many girls enjoy are very often also enjoyed by boys and vice versa, even if they do or deal with what they are doing differently. For example: Today nobody frowns upon a girl playing soccer or a boy doing ballet, because we have come to realise that we are raising individuals and not genders. As a parent, we must support our kids weaknesses and encourage their strengths and let them do what makes them happy and not what society expects of them. Let your son play with a doll and your daughter play with cars if that is what makes them happy. Teach your daughter how to change a plug or drill a hole and your son to cook and operate the washing machine...

Boys and girls both need to be taught a few things about life that only we, as parents, can teach them, but in many cases we need to set the example... Teaching your kids good manners will not help if you don’t show them what good manners are. You can’t expect a child to say “Thank you” if you don’t thank him / her for doing something for you.  Then we get good manners where the man opens the door for a woman... If you are a single mom or mom whose husband no longer does this, you can show and tell your son how it should be done. I can guarantee you that he will enjoy opening the door for you and will feel proud of doing so, in public. My son loves hearing other people commenting on his good manners when he opens a door for a lady or steps aside so that she can pass ahead of him. Ok so girls don’t have to open doors for boys, but they can be taught to open doors and step aside for the elderly. It’s all about Manners!

Why do some people believe boys don’t need as much love as girls? Boys also need to be hugged, cuddled and kissed, until they decide when they don’t want to be kissed in public by mom anymore. Yes, sadly that does happen when they hit their teens. Thankfully my son still loves mom’s hugs and not shy to hug me in public, but no kissing in public. However, now that I think of it; one of my daughters was exactly the same when she hit her teens and didn’t even want me hugging her in public while her sister will still sit on my lap and cuddle if she could. Always Love them unconditionally, because they need you to do that, even when it’s not obvious or they don’t seem to notice. A man who experiences unconditional love from his mom, has a better chance of having healthier adult relationships, so don’t hold back. Give them your heart and in turn, you will have theirs. This also goes for showing emotions. We all have them so why hide them. Let your kids see you cry, get angry, laugh, etc, so that they can learn how to deal with other people’s emotions as well as their own.

I could carry on with many aspects that we think are gender related but if you stop and think about it, they really are not, so just raise your boys and girls as the individuals that they are!

Happy Parenting
Tania
♥♥

Girls Vs Boys

“Accept the children the way we accept trees - with gratitude, because they are a blessing, but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are.” Isabel Allende
 


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